Every Marriage Needs Date Nights

Sunday, August 26, 2018

I tend to think my husband and I are in a beautiful yet demanding lifestyle, one that sometimes requires great strength and perseverance, one that isn't exactly normal for a young family... we live thousands of miles away from any friends or family.
We have raised our children by ourselves, in some of America's largest cities, without a net of family in close range. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, birthday parties... we have always had to travel to family to celebrate those events together. We've never had the luxury of driving down the road to visit my parents, or had the ease of hosting a laid back birthday party at my house, or dropping the kids off at grandma's so we can relax for an evening... I have no idea what that's like. It's a privilege to even have family, having their help is a luxury and should not be taken for granted. I am so proud of who we are; from learning how to care for a baby, to buying our first home, to raising children on our own... you wanna talk about strength: we have it running through our veins. It takes a staggering amount of patience, endurance, and stability to do what we do... and we do it very, very well.
Not only are we on our own, but my husband has an incredibly robust & successful career that requires a great deal of time & mental strength to flourish in, he is unbelievably busy at times and has, in turn, accomplished great things. Work hard, play hard... that's key.
Have you ever totally killed a workout, like you pushed yourself harder than you ever thought possible, and at the end you felt completely invincible and on top of the world? That's how we feel most days.
One ingredient to having a healthy & fun marriage while raising children without family is to nurture and care for each other, and that includes treating yourself to date nights. Date nights where you connect, cuddle, venture out, stay youthful, get excited; date nights you blush when you think about and stay on cloud 9 for a week. Treat them as sacred evenings, plan them out, book them often, get dressed for the occasion... and make them worthwhile.
We try to sprinkle date nights in throughout the year, sometimes we'll go a long stretch without one because we're so busy with life, or maybe we're going on a lot of family vacations (equally as important, btw!), but I like to have my man all to myself and go on adventures, so we go as often as we can.
Last night was a great date, perhaps my all time favorite thus far!

What I loved about last night is we planned nothing! We had no agenda nor reservations, we just winged it. I searched for a rooftop bar on Yelp and navigated to The Nest at Thompson Seattle, and from there we explored without a destination.
The Nest rooftop bar was stellar and the view was more gorgeous than I can put into words, you could see the entire coast of downtown Seattle, where the city meets the shore, and the atmosphere of The Nest was very classy and upscale, every once in awhile everyone would cheer and you'd turn around to see a celebrity waltzing in, the lights and decor set the tone for a cozy night, and the view of the harbor was one of the best I've seen in Seattle.

After a little Pinot Grigio & grand views, we left the lounge and headed towards the water. We stopped by The World's First Starbucks and sipped on late-night coffee & tea while we asked the barista about the place. After our bean & leaf adventure, we strolled along Pike Place Market and saw the famous gum wall.
It's technically an entire alley that bridges the gap between Pike Place and the pier, with the walls made of a thick, gooey layer of chewed gum.
We walked all the way down the alley and ended up at the pier, the wooden-planked walk that separate the land from the sea. Although we were just talking about how overpriced the Seattle Great Wheel (our Ferris Wheel that perches on the coast between the water and the land), we ended up going on it lol! We had some of the greatest views in the whole city.

What I loved about the Ferris Wheel is how intimate it was, Ryan & I were making inside jokes and laughing and cutting up at the couple in the cart beside us, it was just very silly and fun, and those are important moments to have... they make the night more memorable. We are still very young, and it makes me happy when we can still act that way:)
While hovering over Puget Sound in the glass cart, we spotted a restaurant with people eating outside, so after exiting the ride we headed over that way. At this point it was 11pm and things were shutting down, including the restaurant we eyed, so we began the journey of heading back towards the city to find some late night snacks. I did a quick Yelp search for something, anything, opened and realized we were blocks away from a top-rated place. So onward we marched!
We were seated in a cozy corner booth at Von's 1000 Spirits and greeted warmly by staff.
We split a baked macaroni & cheese and a thing of fries... both were absolutely delicious, but there was something about the fries that made them unforgettable, the seasoning was unique and really hit the spot. I always ask for "weird sauces" when I order fries, and they brought me an aioli that had a strong lemon pull, it was fantastic.
After midnight mac & cheese, we headed back to the parking garage to call it a night, but just before I pressed "C" in the elevator to take us up to the floor with our car, Ryan pressed the "Rooftop" button and we buzzed straight to the top of the building for a secret spot and a stellar view (my husband is the cutest!).
We stood on the rooftop of some random building in downtown Seattle under the stars and just watched; we watched the cars bustling by, the people stumbling out of bars with their laughter echoing throughout the skyscrapers, we watched the lights and the water and all the ant-sized people marching around... and it's there, right there, in those kind of moments, that you forget about everything, about the stress of raising a family without a net, about the struggle of work & home balance, about all the tiny insignificant everyday things you deal with... instead, you get completely encapsulated in the moment, lost in each other, in the moment, in that stroke of time, and that's when you leave a night of your life behind and take a memory with you.
Go on date nights with your spouse. Make time for each other. Give yourself time with your partner, and give your partner time with you... allow your relationship to gain deeper strength, greater foundation, and more moments to look back on that you can keep tucked away.
It's so easy to get trapped in the everyday routine, and before you know it, you find yourself stretched thin and thirsty for a breather; before you even get to that point, take time for yourself and your relationship. Nourish your relationship, your partner, and your self. It is not the need for a date night that should alarm you, it is the contentment of not having one that should. Plan your next date night... your relationship deserves it.

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